Pondering

I'm standing on the concrete slab with my hands stuffed in my pockets keeping them warm.  One hand clenched around the ID I need to board.  I'm always trying to keep track of that ID.  I don't carry money with me, and if I lose it I've got a big problem.  I'm the only one here.  I position myself about 12 feet from the edge of the slab.  Twelve feet is just the right amount of distance, I think.  A couple other people join me.  Some stand closer to the edge, some further away.  Lots stand near the butt cans with cigarettes in their hands.

The bus arrives.  As people see it pull into the lot, they start moving in my direction.  It comes to a stop right at the edge of the concrete slab.

The bus is full.  There are lots of people that need to get off before any of us can board.  Before the doors even open people start racing past me.  I don't move.  They crowd around the door.  Sometimes they're are so many of them that the people getting off the bus must weave like NFL running backs to get through.  The bus is finally empty, and now even more people push in front of me in their race to board.  I slowly start to take one step at a time toward the door of the bus.  With each step another person arrives and pushes their way in front of me.  I get on the bus, there are still many empty seats.  I choose the one that has the most leg room.  I hate having my knees jammed up against the seat in front of me.  I avoid it whenever I can.

I start to think about what it is that makes people feel they need to push, shove, block, and cut-off anyone between them and boarding this bus.  What is it, exactly?  Why do people do this?  First I ponder, maybe it's a result of people who have not had a lot of opportunities in their lives.  Maybe they have learned they need to fight for everything, because it's the only way they'll ever get anything.  I suppose this is possible, but then wouldn't those who have had darn near everything handed to them (certainly every necessity) in their lives exhibit the opposite behavior?  But, this is not the reality in my experience.  Then again, perhaps the more fortunate exhibit their pushy behavior as a result of a different motivating factor - perhaps they just feel they are entitled to what ever they want.  I'm not sure.  Then I think maybe it's a result of a persons selfish or selfless nature.  I suppose it could be, but I personally can be a pretty selfish person and I don't feel the need to cut people off and force my way onto the bus.  Maybe I'm just not selfish enough.  I don't think i like that theory - too assuming, and highly unlikely.  Maybe it's the way people were raised.  Or whether people are more likely to 'sweat the small stuff'.  I'm definitely not a 'small stuff sweater' - that could explain it.  But my mom used to be prone to sweating the small stuff (I don't think she does as much anymore) and I have never known her to be pushy in these kinds of situations, ever.  Which does lend some support to the idea that how one is raised has much to do with it.  Maybe it's a lack of respect thing.  Though I'm not sure how I feel about just saying that everybody who exhibits this behavior is disrespectful... then again, to some degree, they really are, aren't they ...

WOAH!  That's my stop coming up!

I still don't know the answer... I was just pondering.

Still pondering,
Lioness