Somebody, please inform protective services. My mom has crossed the line. She GLUED my ponytail in. Something about my ears needing to stand up and the little band constantly getting knocked out. I think somebody should tell her that I'm a BOY and boys don't wear pony tails! Plus, my ear was CUTE floppy! I think she's lost her mind.
~Mendel
Dear Mendel,
Your pony tail is so tiny nobody will even notice. (holding his right ear hair up on top of his head) You'll thank me later when all your friends aren't making fun of you in the show ring because your ear is all wonky. Plus, now I don't have to pin you down every five minutes to put the band back in your hair after you manage to knock it out. Nice try with the sad face, though, I'm sure somebody will go for it.
~Mama